Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful script
Written by Anton Chekov, when he was really sick
		- He was really sick

Our director, Terry, had a vision of a stage sparse
A show that was a tragedy, NO! A comedy - a farce
		- A comedic farce

Then came the day Terry said no scripts, sorries or Oh Shit!
Jer's Veryova, Vary, Vulva or however you say it
		- How 'bout we just axe it

We had a tragedy when Pischik fell on the floor
Today she's barely limping - gotta love that Tylenol 4
		- Her head is going to soar

Tragedy came to Polya, pukings just not fair
And let's not forget, Jade's time in intensive care
		- Get Pischik a rolling chair

Even if the stage is hollow and we built it sparse
Moving it took 20 folks and was a pain in the arse
- But we did it of course

We were almost ready, a few rehearsals to go
The lights went out, we were in the dark, and had to halt the show
		- Terry said Oh No!

The mechanics made cherry blossoms 'til we were nearly sick
We were done 'til Pischik brought in 1000's more to stick
		- onto our sumac sticks

Marjorie was behind the stage making sure no line got left
I don't know how she prompts so well, when she is nearly deaf
		- Beware the light of death

Margaret and Susan made us pretty, Jane was a mad hatter
The costumes were amazing, both riches and tatters
		- Our figures Jane did flatter (well, some of the time)

We played games like chewing cow, yes and other funnery
One more verse of "ca-ching", we'll get us to the nunnery
		- Don't walk, let's runnery
The props were prompt and rare forgot, the set was well done
The costumes grand and changed a lot, quick change is such fun
		- Zip, snap on the run

Instant sunset, creepy noise, the techies did just great
Stage crew worked efficiently, can't make the people wait
		- Long shots doesn't serve too late

Charlotta was hilarious, card tricks and ventriloquist
Pischik is a good old horse, and her laugh is the best
		- To that we all attest

Poor old Firs is lost inside his mumbles and ceiling wax
Polya does the work of three, between her puke attacks
		- The tramp can swing an axe

Yepikodov, daily troubles - he tripped and lost his gun
Grapes will fly when Yasha tries with Dunya to have fun
		- While Varya is a nun

Lubov lost her cherry trees, her muff and her house
Lopakin stole her dreams away, the social climbing louse
		- Dunya is a souse

Yasha is a sleazeball, looking for a diddle
Gayev sees what's happening, double cross in the middle
		- Lopakin can't hear the fiddle

Terry was the director - calm, rarely did he quibble
We all had fun, dare I say,
- It was (hack) incredible