The Pink Panther Strikes Again

C' etait fantastique! Superb! Brilliante!

This case came together like a polished theatrical performance with well-cast, flexible actors, effective costumes, cunning disguises, and impeccable hair and makeup, all moving through a fast-paced series of events that rollicked from France to England to Munich.

Truly the most exhilarating and fun assignment to date!

I first followed Clouseau (Jeremy Whitlock) to Happy Hollow psychiatric institution, where I observed his visit with former boss and colleague, Ms Dreyfus (Phyllis Heeney).

Clouseau gave every indication of obliviousness as he tripped over and trod upon Dreyfus, used verbal taunts, and tested her preparedness to return to society.

Dreyfus, composed initially, unravelled under Clouseau's techniques.

This mental deterioration of Dreyfus snowballed rapidly with increasingly erratic hair and facial twitches, random bursts of ranting, maniacal laughter and lightning fast mood swings.

Dreyfus is many things - a very disturbed, dangerous and yet a brilliant woman and on occasion, a one-eyed hunchback.

At the Fassbender estate, I observed Clouseau s unorthodox methods in his interrogation of the staff.

What appeared to be the random bumbling of an idiot proved to be masterful interrogation.

The staff was so discombobulated that in a matter of moments, Clouseau was able to announce that a crime had been committed by a criminal who had done a bad thing and that the butler did it! Poo-pooed by staid Inspector Drummond of Scotland Yard (Terry Myers), this announcement proved to be 100% true!

It was All About That Bass, onesie toting butler, Jarvis (Graeme Hay), the inside man who helped Dreyfus capture the nerdy, quirky Dr. Fassbender (Mac Jones) and the feisty, cocoa-quaffing Margot (Demi-Lee Bainbridge).

At the Mirage Club, Clouseau narrowly avoided death in a dangerously hilarious tango with a sparkly Jarvis against two knife-wielding assassins.

In his dying moments, Jarvis cleared his guilty conscience and sent Clouseau to Munich, hot on the trail of Dreyfus. Well played, sucker!

In Munich, I watched Clouseau single-handedly dispatch no fewer than nine trained assassins oblivious to the devastation in his wake.

This was a BRILLIANTLY choreographed and executed scene so typical of this case.

While the bodies bled out, Clouseau danced himself off to his hotel room into a late night tryst with his secret love, Olga (Jade Nauman).

Olga was clearly torn between her love for Clouseau and her duty to Russia - a passionate struggle raged, Clouseau s strong will and stupid brain resisted, and the case continued.

Silk scarf garrotte one moment and I love you the next - ooh la la!

Travellers beware: Oktoberfest, can be very dangerous if one attempts to polka after drinking beer or eating pretzels!

And check your hotel bed for dead doppelgangers and Russian spies.

ASIDE: I must digress to comment on some marvellous, pink characters I observed in all areas of this investigation.

They played and skipped acrobatically through every scene, skilfully removing unsightly items, restoring order and significantly adding to the delight and fun of the experience.

Never before have scene changes shone as one of the most delicious aspects - well done!

While the cartwheeling, flipping, and bending of the adorable Alison Chiasson deserve particular acclaim, each panther had many moments of purr-fectly pink whimsy and humour while enticing, spinning, even dancing, one scene into the next.

Wagging tails and cat kudos to Aidan, Alison, Eric, Francesca, Jesse and Terryn - bravo!

In summary, Clouseau's MO seems to be: (1) confuse people with mispronunciations (do you have a rim, a massage, a bimp) and malformed metaphors (poopy deck, an egg without the omelette, children with wagging tails), (2) use hands-on conflict resolution (effective and very entertaining to observe), and (3) give every impression of complete incompetence while tracking all aspects of the case and voila - case closed!

Investigating crimes really is his density, or in the words of the diligent Inspector McLaren (Ben Mungham), he truly is something awesome! So Mme Director (Kristen Glowa) - I report nothing but accolades for this case.

The Pink Panther kept me on my toes, giggling, from start to finish, as it flowed seamlessly from one pink festooned scene to the next via the clever antics of the panthers.

The shape shifters (Ben, Bridget, Dylan, Emily, Jackie, Jane, Karen, Mariah, Paul, Terry, Toria and Ziliang) were convincing in their 38 uniquely crafted transitions from assassins to messengers, waiters, fighting manservant, estate employees, desk clerks, hunchbacks and so many more.

Thank you Q and your minions for the high quality technological support on this mission. Gadgets, props, lights, sound and special effects worked well.

Alors, one last lingering note must be for the band. Merci mes amis!

Live street music is prevalent in Paris and Munich and throughout Pink Panther, the musical interludes gently linked scenes and added layers of authenticity and depth. Truly, where words leave off, music begins. Respectfully submitted...