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Murderous Crossing
Written by David Landau
November 28-30, 2013
Deep River Legion
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Cast of "Murderous Crossing"
(photo courtesy of Ken Lundie)
Back Row: Terry Myers (Howard), Jeremy Whitlock (Insp. Clurrot), Sasha Shewchuk (Countess Follette), Luc Levesque (Father), Ian Graham (John Rothchild), Zack Fogal (Lord Bennet)
Front Row: Kyra Lade (Vivian Rothchild), Kristen Glowa (Isabella), Phyllis Heeney (Miss Hastings)
Photos from the Show
Program from the show (pdf file, 575 kB)
Review in North Renfrew Times, Dec. 4, 2013:
Guests have shockingly good time despite wedding
full of "murdreu"
November 29, 1923
My dear sister,
As well you know, in the role of table server, I set sail yesterday aboard the luxury yacht, HMS Victoria, sailing betwixt Belgium and Dover.
This being my first posting, I was fraught with worries lest our humble upbringing betray me in the company of the upper crust.
Let me tell you, dear sister, I need not have worried. What started as a luxury cruise with a five-star wedding between Contessa
Nicole Follette and wealthy American, Jonathan Rothchild, turned into a debacle that can only be described as a "Murderous Crossing."
The interior of the HMS Victoria is luxuriously extravagant, especially the formal dining room.
The attention to every detail created a posh, period atmosphere with satin curtains, white table cloths, fabric chair covers, crystal wine glasses, nautically themed centrepieces, and even recent copies of the London Times Gazette.
Guests to the wedding dined on delicious Brie and Cranberry tarts, Waldorf Salad, Shepherd's Pie, Ratatouille, and Chocolate Cakelets with Raspberry Coulis for afters.
The food was delicious, attractively presented and arrived in a timely manner, thanks to the veritable battalion of servers (including yours truly). The lighting in the room was effective and unobtrusive.
The bride, Contessa Nicole (Sasha Shewchuk), was resplendent in a satin and lace applique gown although it seems she has suffered a recent weight loss and it rather hung on her willowy frame. Despite that, she was the glowing picture of love.
The groom, Mr. Rothchild (Ian Graham), was dashingly debonair in his black formal suit and rakish bow-tie and seemed very devoted to his Contessa.
On the surface all seemed above board, but, my dear sister, things quickly unravelled from a high brow wedding to a common boatyard brawl.
Brace yourself, sister, as I tally the atrocities which may truly cause you to swoon.
Firstly, the body (or at least a severed arm) of financier GJ Shepard was found in a trunk in the dining room and the cook was found hanging in the iceroom.
Then one of our servers, the vindictive Isabella (Kristen Glowa), was shot exposing the Contessa as a fraud.
Then a quiet and efficient waiter, Howard (Terry Myers), was likewise dispatched as he sought to expose Mr. Rothchild as a fraud.
I was flummoxed by this but some of the other girls disclosed that my co-workers held clandestine meetings which ended with threats and raised voices.
And finally, at the end of the wedding feast, Mr Bennet and Ms Rothchild were both poisoned!
For you see, despite their polished exteriors with dandy clothing, perfect hair and flawless makeup, the two newlyweds were nothing but swindlers and frauds.
And their accomplices, the dashing and persuasive banker, Lord Bennet (Zack Fogal) and the crass, tacky and quirky Vivian Rothchild (Kyra Lade), were up to their eyeballs in the deceptions.
Despite these shocking activities, the wedding guests were distracted by the ever effervescent Ms Hastings (Phyllis Heeney) who jollied us along and kept the party flowing, although with rather more wine than seems appropriate for a lady to imbibe.
The dissolution of the evening was mirrored in her hair that unravelled with each new corpse discovered!
Luckily, the monocled and brilliant Inspector Clurrot (Jeremy Whitlock) of the Luxembourg police was on board. With sneaky sleuthing and laudable logic, he solved all the murders AND to boot, captured a famous homicidal murderer, The Marquis le Mort, who was travelling incognito as the priest (Luc Levesque)!
Larks! It's a wonder we weren't all murdered in our beds!
Clurrot also exposed that the Mother of the Groom, the Father of the Bride, the Best Man and even the Maid of Honour were not previously known to any of the wedding party, rather they were imposters who stepped blithely into their roles adding credence to the skulduggery. Kudos to the plucky step-ups!
Stars and garters, sister, it was a tumultuous evening, and yet I report that all the guests seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely.
Raucous laughter and enthusiastic participation in the carryings-on were abundant.
Truly, I am baffled by this lack of concern for crimes most heinous. Perhaps the presentation of such colourful and delightfully devious characters made them feel relatively more proper or maybe these duplicitous shenanigans are normal in high society.
Either way, it is assuredly a world of difference from old Eythorne.
I continue to shudder at some interesting "coincidences" such as the smell of garlic indicating arsenic and the decidedly garlicky salad dressing, and the inspector's allusion to the preparation of Shepard's pie for supper and the missing body of Mr. Shepard.
Red herrings, or clever and chilling clues?
In parting, I will confess, dear sister, that in the frenzy of all that transpired, I made bold to sample some of the fine champagne... after all, as the hilarious and increasingly inebriated Father declared, "Why should they get to have all the fun?"
I remain, your loving sister,
Argustina
CAST
Father: Luc Levesque
Lord Bennet: Zack Fogal
Jonathan Rothchild: Ian Graham
Howard: Terry Myers
Inspector Clurrot: Jeremy Whitlock
Nicole Folette: Sasha Shewchuk
Vivian Rothchild: Kyra Lade
Isabella: Kristen Glowa
Miss Hastings: Phyllis Heeney
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